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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My Words of Repentance

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another,
that ye may be healed.  James 5:16 a

My beloved fellow covering sisters,

Today, I am writing this letter to you in order to confess my sin. Some time ago, I happened to read the following remarks on HCM comment section;

"What is regrettable to me is that you, and certainly many of the folks that make comments here on your site, characterize the majority of the Christians who do not see the need for a fabric covering as being either ignorant of the Scriptures or willfully disobedient to them. They, and frankly you, hold themselves up as shining examples to the world as the rare Christians who actually take God and His Word seriously while the majority of all the other Christians in the world do not."

Oh, my dear sisters, this comment pierced my heart to the core. True, this person did not write to me directly but it was as if he was warning me personally. Yes, the Lord warned me through His vessel tonight. Though I did not realize it, it seems like the spiritual arrogance has crept into my heart regarding my stance on Christian headcovering. And like this brother said, I might have thought that I am (and we are) the "shining examples to the world as the rare Christians who actually take God and His Word seriously." So, I replied to this brother and said;

"I want to say thank you for your words.I believe that the Lord spoke to me and warned me through your words today. That's because I found this spiritual arrogance and pride which you mentioned, right in my heart. And I believe that by His providence, you asked me the above question so I came back to this comment section and read your words. May God forgive my arrogance and make me a humble servant. Once again, I appreciate your wise counsel. God bless you, brother.  from Kinuko"

I'd just wanted to share this with you because I consider you as the only one who can really understand my struggles. Being head covering sister in this modern world, I think we have to fight two big enemies constantly; 1) timidity/fear and 2) spiritual arrogance and elitism.
Oh dear Lord, how difficult it is to tread Thy path with humbleness and boldness at the same time! I confess to you that I am both timid and arrogant. Cleanse me with Thy precious blood and wipe my sin. At the same time, Lord, words are not enough to express to You how much I am grateful for the very presence of my headcovering sisters. In many cases, I feel I don't even need a word to explain to them what is happening in my heart because we have trodden this journey together. We have toiled and share joys and struggles together. And it is You who have united us with such tender love. Please bless my sisters who are scattering around the world. Keep them in Your arms and fill their hearts with Your joy. In Jesus' name. Amen.



  1. Yes.. we need the cross daily to set us straight again. Much love in Christ -Maribeth

  2. Thank you so much Maribeth! Last night, I asked my husband to pray for me that the Lord grant me humble spirit. And I read Psalm 51 before going to bed. Then, this morning, I found your message! How encouraging it was! In Christ, Kinuko

  3. Pride can come in so many ways, some of them we even wouldn't know. We have always guard our hearts.

    1. Dear Irina, yes, you are very right. Pride can come in through countless ways.Yesterday, I read one old prayer regarding the need of grace. Although I was outside (inside the office building waiting in line) at that time, tears rolled down on my cheek as I read this prayer. In the near future, I'd like to share this prayer with you, if the Lord willing!
      With much love, Kinuko

  4. Timidy/fear or spiritual arrogance /elitism.Our number is few,and to be few in the world causes easily them.Not only as a headcovering christian,but as a Japanese christian,it can also happen in me, I think.

    One of my church friends told me that there are many Japanese christians who look down non-christian people(majority in Japan),saying 'we are already saved,unlike them'. The term 'Non Chri' (means non christian,pronounced 'nonkuri') is often used by them as derogatory one,she said.

    I know many believers who do not practice headcovering with godly spirit parctically.

    I am so blessed to know many sisters who accept creation order ,practicing headcovering in the world and I could be one of them.
    .But also I think what the man said is precious opinion.I am fulltime headcovering christian,but do not force anybody to do the same. I can not.
    Every believers have freedom to ask God.We maybe so happy that we could accept by doctorine by His grace,but should not be proud of it.What we can do is to testify.

    Thank you,Kinuko for this sincere sharing. Sanae

    1. Dear Sanae,

      Thank you so much for reading my words of repentance. Please pray for me that the Lord grant me His humble spirit. The carnal/spiritual arrogance springs up from my heart very often,,,I hate it. This is a terrible sin! May I gaze my eyes upon our Crucified Jesus Christ very single moment so that my foolish pride might lose its power and perish.

      Sanae, I agree with you that this brother's words are so precious. As long as I live, and as long as I serve Head Covering Movement as a prayer team member, I want to carve this warning on my heart and never forget.
      Thank you for your friendship and support. Kinuko

  5. Dearest Kinuko-san,

    I confess I find this in myslef as well. It is a hard struggle. K. P. Yohannan said, "Our enemy is our own self-centerdness." As it says in Proverbs 4, we must gaurd our hearts with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. Let us not fall to pride, but answer the call to unconditional love! God, have mercy on us. In Jesus' name, amen.

  6. Dearest Kay-chan,

    Your compassionate words brought me tears. Your honest confession made me feel that I am not the only one who is struggling with this pride issue. Lord, have mercy on us! We desperately need Thy grace. I thank You for bringing us together under the Cross of Jesus Christ. Please keep Kay-chan tightly and never leave her alone. She is Your beloved maiden and I sincerely pray that You will give her Your victory. In Jesus' name. Amen.

  7. Dear Kinuko, I was wondering if you could contact me at this e-mail address when you get a chance. There isn't anything wrong. I just wanted to discuss something off internet with you. Your friend, Ruthie