Tuesday, March 22, 2016

My Beloved Headcovering Sisters' Community


Last night was a night of the storm. My ego and bad temper screamed like a roaring lion and I hurt my husband so badly. It was just terrible. But the most terrible thing was that I've done all of these with a prayer veil--a biblical symbol which signifies the reverence to God and obedience to our husbands--on my head! Satan then triumphantly whispered to my ear and said; You see, this is your real figure. Isn't so hypocritical for you to write many articles on headcovering/biblical submission while you yourself are not living up to what you've written or said?

I was crushed and depressed. I could hardly sleep. And it seemed to me that there was no one on this whole earth who could understand my current struggles. No one? Oh, no. My headcovering sisters! Yes, I have them! So I wrote emails to some of our covering sisters and honestly confessed my struggles and sins in front of them. Here is a reply message from one of my dears.

Also, this is a perfect example of how important the headcovering symbol really is; it reminds us of our duty and calling, beckoning us forward and upward to a higher standard, to more holy living. It is used of God to convict us of our sinful tendencies, and helps us see where we are not living according to His will for us. This has been my experience, when I have not lived up to the meaning of the headcovering to my shame.

I bring my soul to thee;
break it, wound it, bend it, mould it.
Unmask to me sin’s deformity,
that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.
Grant that through the tears of repentance
I may see more clearly the brightness
and glories of the saving cross.
-from The puritan prayers and devotions

O Lord, how gracious You are! You've guided me to this loving sisters' community where I can most freely share my inner turmoil and confess my sins. Bless my beloved sisters who are scattered across the globe. Their kind words are like sweet spring to my weary soul and their steadfast faith inspires me.

Dear headcovering sisters, if you want to join our HCM community and pray, please visit this page. Jessica and I will interact with you.


Simply Jeannie said...

A testimony of how real truly we still struggle.. Jehovah Father is not done, he doesnt expect us perfect.. He knows the struggles and blesses those who desire and try to live as best as they can in obedience to HIM..

Kinuko H said...

Dear Jeannie, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, in spite of all these weaknesses and ugliness, my sole desire is to live and die for His glory. May God bless your sweet, tender heart, Jeannie. with love, Kinuko

Anonymous said...

Dearest Kinuko, You are right. You're not alone in how you feel. Many, many times when I've lost my temper or said cruel things to my family,I feel so worthless within. But like Jeannie said, Jehovah God is not finished with us yet,(paraphrased) and He doesn't expect us to be perfect. I'm so thankful for you and for the ministry you have here and elsewhere in your community. Please don't be discouraged. I recently heard an illustration about the tools that Satan uses. Discouragement is one of his best used tools to wear us as Christians down. Then we become ineffective for God. So, as your headcovering sister, I love you and pray for you because I've been there as well. I also love your poem here and what another h.c. sister shared with you. It has encouraged me greatly! Lovingly, Ruthie

Kinuko H said...

Dear dear Ruthie, how kind you are! I really feel like you are my mother (*I am writing this part with tears in my eyes.) He's given you merciful and compassionate heart which embraces many souls around you.

"I'd like to add some beauty to life," said Anne dreamily. "I don't exactly want to make people KNOW more...though I know that IS the noblest ambition...but I'd love to make them have a pleasanter time because of me...to have some little joy or happy thought that would never have existed if I hadn't been born." (Anne of Avonlea)

Ruthie, you are the person whom Anne described here.
with much love and admiration,

Anonymous said...

I don't have the words, Kinuko, to tell you what I felt reading what you wrote to me besides it has touched my heart deeply, and I'm humbled. God has given me family here that differences in headcovering and other doctrine in my own family has taken away. I'm honored for you to compare me to your mother and also the lovely comparison in Anne of Avonlea. I pray that I can truly be that person in Christ. God bless you and your husband! With love, Ruthie

Kinuko H said...

You're welcome, Ruthie! Please send our best regards to Brian. (p.s.While I will be on the mission field, I will try my best to submit HCM prayer requests whenever I find wi-fi spot.Ruthie, if it is possible, please strengthen and encourage Jessica while I am away. Thank you!) Kinuko