Thursday, January 1, 2015

Sister D, my living textbook

I like something beautiful and lovely. So when I encounter sisters who possess beautiful and lovely spirit, my heart is drawn to them just like a little bee drawn to fragrant flowers and fly around them joyously. Sister D in Pennsylvania is one such lady for me.

She has walked with the Lord for more than 50 years and she is very deep in her thought and in her spirituality. I respect her as my role model and love her as my spiritual mother.

One time, she and her husband came to southern Europe and I met her in one Christian gathering. To be honest, I did not feel quite comfortable about the general atmosphere of the meeting. I wished the preacher was more serious and the ladies wore clothes more modestly. In fact, sister D was the only sister who wore modest dress and put on head covering. 

As I observed her closely, however, I discovered something in her behaviors which taught me unforgettable lessons. She was cheerfully engaging conversations with other sisters as if there was no difference between them. I mean, she was so very natural. There was no shadow of pretense nor artificiality in her and about her. Obviously, her child-like spirit let other sisters feel comfortable and safe in front of her.

Then suddenly, I felt ashamed of what I had thought previously. The light in this devout lady shone on me and I saw my sins right in front of me. I realized I was haughty and judgmental toward the preacher and the ladies. I was proud of what little spiritual knowledge and its application I had gained and I looked down on others who (I thought) still did not reach the point where I was. 

I was exactly like that haughty Pharisee who prayed; God, I thank You that I am not like other men,,or even as this tax collector (Luke 18:11). This realization brought me to a deep repentance and I confessed them to God.

Another difference between me and sister D was that while the Spirit was freely releasing from her inner man without hindrance, mine was somehow blocked because of some inner shells or dams. Under this light, I could also see how hard and stiff my spirit actually was. O, blessed are those who can have fellowship with real saints, for we can learn so many valuable things from them which we cannot usually learn from the books. They are the living textbooks for us. 

Watchman Nee also shared his experience as follows; I heard many brothers and sisters talk about being sanctified, so I began to study the doctrine of sanctification. I found approximately 200 verses concerning sanctification. I memorized them and put them in sequence. But what sanctification was, I still was not clear. I felt empty inside, until one day I met this elderly sister. She was holy. On that day my eyes were opened. I saw what it is to be sanctified. The person I met was holy. I had a very strong impression of this. That light caused me to push forward. I could not escape, and this caused me to see sanctification.

My dream is that when I become her age, I would be like her. I want to be a woman who has a soft, lovely and free spirit, relieving and decorating the world around her beautifully.

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